It’s golfing day, baby! Clubs ready. Plenty of balls. Snacks and drinks. Fit’s on point. Few things beat the anticipation of a great round. Then you see them—two golfers on the first tee who look like they’ve been playing since forever. That excitement? Gone. Nerves kick in. Why does the course always pair rookies with experts?
Relax. You’ve got this. Just remember these two rules:
Rule #1: Nobody’s Watching You
Bobby Jones said it best: “Golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course… the space between your ears.” Everyone is too busy worrying about their own swing to judge yours. When you hit a bad shot, your partners aren’t silently roasting you—they’re stressing about their next one.
Rule #2: Suck Fast
What golfers do notice is if you slow them down. Play badly if you must—we all do—but keep the rhythm of the round. Play slow, and everyone suffers (including you)
Here’s how to “suck fast”:
1. Be ready. While others hit, use that time to get your yardage, pick your club, take off headcovers, and glove up. You might think it’s polite to watch others hit their shot, stare at it longingly and shower them with praise, but the most polite thing you can do is keep pace.
2. One practice swing, max. Extra practice swings won’t help, trust us. The range is for practice; the course is for playing. While this might look different from what you see on TV (if you’re watching golf on TV, that is), pros are shaping shots for millions. You just need solid contact.
3. Keep it moving on the greens. Reading greens does take a minute, but it’s only worth it if you know what you’re doing. You’ll get there, but you’re not there yet. Take one look at the slope, one practice stroke, then putt. Don’t overthink it.
Follow these rules and you’ll always honor the most important one: have fun. From the fairway, forward.